Slimma's Xmas Hamper recommendations

I have become quite the little mirror-glancer recently. Me, yes, the one whose sexiest black number this time last year looked more like a burka than a frock, has turned the corner and is rather amazed at the transformation that's occurred. 1.5 stones since July and not a whiff of the D word. REALLY! Not a squidely, diddly iota of calorie counting has rained on my parade, and many, many a hearty meal has been troughed. I haven't given up lattes, muffins, chocolate (though it has been cut down and is at least beginning to resemble a normal human being's annual consumption) or, in fact, anything.

Food is just no longer my Linus blanky. Yes, dear readers, I can now face the mirror, stick out my marracas with pride, and face the day sans burka.

So forgive me sisters if I sound a bit smug and preachy here for a moment, but I'm now such a card carrying member of the anti-diet movement that I can't help myself. Cue Xmas rant...

"If you REALLY want to lose weight, gals, PLEASE sort your heads out first. Dieting is bad for your mojo. I mean, come on. It is not normal to talk about points, calories, fat ounces, being 'good' or being 'bad'. This is just eating. It's part of life. Let's prove the intelligence of our sex once and for all and put a stop to all this garbage. I promise, if you do that and use your head, you WILL lose the lard, slowly and surely and forever.

There, now that I've got that off my still sizeable chest, I'm going to give another big Christmas plug to 2 of my most useful little helpers.

The Weight Less Mind - book and cds by my favourite hypnotherapist, Georgia Foster. Listen to these relaxing recordings, read the book and I guarantee you'll start thinking about your relationship with food in a whole new way. Persevere. You'll never dream of dieting again once you've read Georgia's book. It'll just seem, well, SILLY!

and

The Ultimate Unwind - another blissful hypnotherapy mp3, this time from the inspiring Space to Be brand. But guess what, Georgia's also working her magic here! Great for sleepless nights or when you just need 20 mins me-time. And this one's not aimed at slimmers. It's a fab Xmas pressie idea for the stress-head in your house!

Right, must dash, there's a giant coronation sub with my name on it...mmm, lunch!

Xx

"Christmas is coming...

...and I'm not getting fat-ter!" (I couldn't give a fois-gras about the goose)

Anyhoo, my mantra is now 'make it to mid Jan no more than 2lb heavier'.

Have you noticed that come December every year, women's mags barrage us with a shed load of confusing messages? On the one hand you'll get an article aimed at the weight conscious telling us how easy it is to stay slim if we only 'stay away from the crisps and dips', limit ourselves to one spritzer at the office party and substitute low fat semolina for Xmas pud, whilst a few pages further on they'll wheel out Delia (do they only let her out at Xmas?) and encourage us to give our suet-splashed bird a damned good full-fat stuffing.

Stuff semolina, I'm with Delia!

So, dear readers, all bets are off till I get back from skiing in Austria mid Jan (for there lies schnitzel, goulash soup and weissbier with my name on it). Don't get me wrong, I still want to get to a size 14, but I have had an epiphany of sorts. Speed is not the issue. It took me a decade to gain this extra 3 stone of lard. If it comes off in a year I should be bloomin' delighted!

Sure enough, this revellation alone did seem to help me lose a pound this week. And I've even survived my self imposed Curly Wurly cold turkey.

Cause for celebration indeed.

PS. ANd did I mention I bought a frock in a size 16? Oh I did...well, it is something worth crowing about!

ANd while I like beef too, I'm not quite as obsessed as these cool cats. Enjoy! And don't forget to check out www.rathergood.com where this clip originated.

OOPS, I did it again!

You may have noticed I didn't quite make my target. Actually I'm a whole 6lb off it. But you know what? I don't really care! I'm a whole lot slimmer! Even Mr S has noticed (no mean feat!)

In fact I just bought a frock in a size 16, so to quote a patronising old ciggy ad, 'I've come a long way, baby!'

Inner Bitch: What are you talking about Tubs? You failed, fair and square.

Inner Goddess: Oh, leave it out. When are you ever going to get with the programme and give her a break. Didn't you hear her, she's got into a size 16. She's winning! She's not dieting, she's not even breaking into a sweat and she's disappearing before our very eyes. If that's your idea of failure, you need new specs.

Me: THanks IG! I feel GOOOOOOD. However, I feel like I've been coasting a while now and it's time to shake things up a little..give the old system a boost. So without further ado, I hearby commit to my next challege...

A bit more excercise.

Inner BItch: A bit? What exactly does that look like? Bending down and tying your shoelaces, stretching up for a tin of beans, what?

Me: NO, smarty pants, I'm returning to an old favourite. So old you only seem to get it on video tape, not DVD, these days - CALLANETICS. I'm going to hit the floor and do some serious clenching!

Inner Bitch: ha ha ha! Just as I thought, not REAL exercise at all then. God forbid you break a sweat.

Me: Scoff if you like, but I happen to know it's a deceptively tough workout.

IB: So what can we expect to see from you by 1 January then, oh, bendy flexy goddess?

Me: Considerably more toned arms will do for starters. Callan's also promised me a peachy bum and a washboard stomach, but even I think that might be a miracle too far in a month.

Let operation BINGO WING BLASTER commence!

PS> It's been a while since I did Callanetics. I hope 1980s poodle hair is not an obligatory side effect!