Watch out Edinburgh. Inner Goddess is dragging me out shopping today.
It's likely to go something like this…
Me: Don't know why you're bothering. NOTHING EVER FITS RIGHT!
IG: You haven't even got off the bus yet so how about you drop the attitude and give it a chance?
Me (sulking): Fine, but I don't see why today will be any different. When I die and they come to carry out my corpse, I'll probably still be wearing my jeans and this b****y blue anorak. 'Wow,' they'll be saying, 'cool vintage outfit! She should be in a museum!'
IG: Stop exaggerating. There's lots of nice clothes out there, even for you! I'm confident we'll find you something.
Me: Prove it!
IG (determined): You're on!
4 hours and 15 fitting rooms later…
IG (exasperated): Now that IS lovely. No, it doesn't make you look like an explosion in a sausage factory. No, your bum is not going to black out the sun, and NO I don't think the colour could best be described as one shade lighter than slurry . Honestly, I despair. I give up. You win! Let's go home.
Me: OK, but there's just one more place I'd like to try first.
Back on the bus...
Me (vindicated!): Told you it was a total waste of time!
IG (resigned!): Not entirely. I'm just LOVING the new anorak.
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