She's back!

Me: Where have you been? I need you!

Inner Goddess: On my hols. Even I need to cut loose and let myself go. It's not easy being perfect, y'know.

Me: No, I don't know, but it's a good thing you're back. You cutting loose for three whole weeks is not at all good for my mission. Things have been slipping, and I aint talking about my waistband.

IG: Slipping? You mean Curly Wurly consumption is on the rise, you're bored of all your new recipes AGAIN, and you're letting Inner Bitch get the better of you?

Me: Yeah, kinda. I'm still losing it, but it's getting awfully slow.

IG: What do you expect, miracles? For the last time, YOU ARE NOT ON A DIET, you are changing your habits. It TAKES TIME, but it IS working! And as for Inner Bitch, you KNOW she can't stand positivity, so stop whining and put on your happy face! Don't make me have to go and put on my Wonder Woman suit and crack my whip at you - even I couldn't get into it this week!

Me: But I want RESULTS and I want them FASTER. I want to lose more than one measly pound a week!

IG: Spoiled brat. If you really wanted faster results you could have them. But you'd need to get a whole lot more disciplined, strict... and we both know what happens then. You go great guns for 2 weeks, then give up and trough the entire contents of your fridge, then beat yourself up for another three weeks and gain a stone. Been there, done that, got the giant-sized T-shirt. When are you gonna learn? For you, SLOW AND STEADY WILL WIN THE RACE!

Me: OK, OK! You're right, as always.

IG: Of course I'm right. Now, quit with the moaning and let me see you do the 'I-lost-a-pound-and-I'm-gonna-shake-ma-bootie-celebration' dance!' Yeah, that's more like it!


Don't worry, there's no video footage, but boy I'm glad IG's back.