I think I've mentioned Tubby Best Friend (TBF) before, haven't I? If we had a pound for every time we've talked about losing weight over the past decade we'd make the Sultan of Brunei look poor. But alas, we probably gained an extra lb every time we mentioned it instead!
Anyway, this weekend we verbally dissected the daft diets, the half hearted attempts to like exercise and all our collective failures one last time – for blog research purposes, you understand – and we agreed that if there is one landmark moment in the whole sorry saga, one moment that now seems particularly Twilight Zone, it's got to be this one…
Year: 1999
Location: TBFs flat in London.
Alcohol consumed: a few bottles of Merlot
TBF: 'When we lose weight we'll go and do….'
Me: I know, it'll be great. When I've lost Xlb I want to….'
Gay friend of TBF (GFOTBF): 'Really? What year will that be? 2010? 2020?'
Me and TBF: Huh?
You see we knew GFOTBF was a cynical old queen, but we had no idea he was also clairvoyant!
He was right! We've been like the Fletcher and Godber of slimming. Always plotting and scheming, and occasionally pulling a fast one and dropping a few pounds, but ultimately doing some serious Porridge in Tubbyville.
But now we're out. And this time it's different. We're fighting the flab with positivity and absolutely no calorie counting. Isn't it liberating?
So TBF, this post's for you! By Christmas you'll be wearing that wardrobe full of 'slim clothes' again - not swearing at them!
Good thing fashion's gone retro, eh?
