It's official - I've lost a stone and the first of my two tractor-sized spare tyres!
I feel like I've passed the human equivalent of an MOT!
Just imagine it...
Mechanic: 'Yes madam, you've passed. That front lower tyre is still rather over inflated and the left and right bingo wings could use a bit of toning, but keep on doing what you're doing and you should scrub up into a fairly decent model...for your age!'
Me: 'What do you mean FOR MY AGE!'
But I guess that's true. I'm 40 going on 41, not 20! So why does Mother Nature arrange it so that on the inside I still feel like I'm 20?
If you ask me it's darn right cruel!
Last year I went skiing, a sport I've been crazy about since I was 17. Problem is, when I imagine myself skiing now I'm still imagining myself skiing the way I did when I was 20 years younger. In my head I imagine I can still ski all day every day and never get tired or achey.
So imagine my horror when after a leisurely day's skiing I fell quite spectacularly and discovered that no matter how hard I tried I just could not get myself back up!
There I was humpfing around like a large steamed pudding - panting and grunting and swearing for Scotland. And the harder I tried to get up the deeper I seemed to wedge myself into the snow.
Eventually a man stopped and helped pull me up. Turns out I'd really damaged my shoulder, but I remember that the pain was nothing compared to the embarrassment I felt about being too fat to hoist myself up!
Never again, I promised myself.
Fortunately we didn't go skiing this year so I didn't have to beat myself up for breaking that promise and other skiers were spared the prospect of being wiped out by a giant Scottish rogue elephant.
BUT NEXT YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT! Even if I do need half a tub of deep heat just to get through a day on the slopes these days, not to mention an industrial strength sports bra, at least I'll be able to emerge gracefully from any crash site, head held high!
My mechanic will be so pleased.
